The Realist's Thanksgiving Song

We don't bother
to gather together,
We've worked our asses off
for this food.

The turkey is yummy
because it's bred to be,
the stuffing is spiced
precisely for taste.

I love my squash
with butter and pepper
potatoes with gravy
are so divine...

A taste of cranberry
a slice of pumpkin pie
why should I be grateful
for what I've earned?

Were I living
in 1499
I might think
that this feast
was divine.

But I don't live then
I live now
and I've worked
very hard
to earn this feast.

I suppose
what I'm saying is
thank me
for this feasting
I really have
earned
every bite.